Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
...so i touched it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
