Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
