i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize