don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize