Where did you get a picture of my penis
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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