Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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