Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
