something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
