I didn't shave. On purpose
someone get that fucking seahorse.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
they're like a gay fantastic four
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize