What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
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The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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