I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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