i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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