quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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