Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize