Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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