jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
