what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
