I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
