Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
