i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
