My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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