do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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