i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
