you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
