lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
