Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
