I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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