hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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