well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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