Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.