Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!