So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.