Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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