You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
