i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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