yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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