He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
