Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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