Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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