remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
