dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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