i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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