their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
