hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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