i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
