Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sobbing to NWA
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
