As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
