Whod you bang
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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