He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
