I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
