at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize