no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
