White coat. Heels.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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