you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I would ride that face into the sunset
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
