I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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