You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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