Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
