a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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