Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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