i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
you never un-have a 4some
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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