Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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