I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
