you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
