if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
40s are totally the cure
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize