how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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