I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
a search helicopter?!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
