ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
