I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
