Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
